If you dislike lying, lies and the lying liars who tell them, this is a song for you. Virginia spins a tale which is sometimes referred to as a Texas liar song, because there are elements of truth, but not much. John plays two acoustic guitars, three basses, a drum set, and sings background harmonies borrowed from the Beach Boys. And if you believe that…
lyrics
IF I HAD WHEELS
If I had wheels I’d be a bus,
On the road somewhere.
Goin’ away from here.
I could meet a man and he’d be one of us,
Not some alien,
Sent to show us up.
I’ve heard some whoppers in my time,
And your life story is,
The biggest whopper that comes to mind.
If I had wings I’d learn to duck.
Instead of feelin’ like a flat ol’ squirrel,
Underneath o’ your pick-up truck.
CHORUS: This world has got along without me up ‘til now.
Reckon it won’t miss me when I’m gone.
Looks like I’m hangin’ by my last remaining nerve.
Our hero fell off at the curve.
My mama joined the C.I.A.,
Got a job somewhere,
Teaching sailors how to swear.
She knew a cowboy once upon a time.
Quite the ladies man.
She said he invented lying.
He taught Einstein everything he knew.
And while he was at it, he taught,
Mrs. Einstein a thing or two.
She got a job in Hitler’s restaurant.
And started livin’ in the kind ‘o style,
In all the poverty a girl could want.
CHORUS: This world has got along without me up ‘til now.
Reckon it won’t miss me when I’m gone.
Looks like I’m hangin’ by my last remaining nerve.
Our hero fell off at the curve.
If I had a ha...
If I had a hab...
If I had a habit I’d be a nun,
And fly around just like a bird,
Tellin’ all the crazy things I heard.
I’d find a cross for you to bear.
And you could trudge around,
And drag it everywhere.
Have you ever tried the simple truth?
You should give it a try sometime,
While changin’ clothes in a telephone booth.
If I had wheels I’d be a bus.
And I’d be on the road.
And I’d be outta here.
And I’d be on the road.
Goin’ away from here.
And I’d be on the road.
And I’d be outta here.
credits
from Cottage Industry,
released March 27, 2016
Song Composition by John Costigan
All instruments played by John Costigan
Vocals - Virginia King & John Costigan
Mixed by Larry Hinds
King and Cos are a duo that plays a surprising variety of music. They perform often-ignored songs in a zany bi-polar array
of styles. John’s original songs tell stories of budding twits with biting wit. He studied theory and song-writing for three years at UW-Parkside with Dr. Augie Wegner, who helped to refine his song writing.
Among Virginia’s influences are Joni Mitchell, and Billie Holiday....more
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